By Joe Audritt
The future is bleak. There is this dark cloud that hangs over us all telling us we are on the last few chapters of human history. We do not speak of this openly. The knowledge is like a thorn buried in our collective chest that we try to ignore – hoping it won’t burrow its way into our hearts.
What is it that will finally finish us all off – a nuclear holocaust? A global plague? Or will the environmentalists be proved right and the tides rise, flooding the majority of earth and leaving those lucky enough to find high ground to starve to death?
Eventually the rise in population will be brought into question. In the West we have become hypersensitive, incredibly risk averse and shudder at the thought of another world war. With modern medicine we are curing everything almost as quick as it is killing us – leaving us with fully functioning bodies while our minds turn to mush.
All of this adds to a population explosion which stretches the Earth’s finite resources.
Sooner or later there will be a debate about population control. An issue many comedians, unreliant on votes from the electorate, like Doug Stanhope and Bill Burr have often tackled in their routines.
Bill Burr beautifully parodied a politician attempting to carry this agenda in his stand up special I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.
“…and if elected I would implement a program to immediately eliminate at least 85% of you. This planet cannot sustain the sheer numbers – let me finish! This will not be arbitrary. Under your seats there is a multiple choice questionnaire. If you did not bring a pencil, you’re already out!”
So who will get the blame when this type of drastic action takes place? Who will be placed at the front of the cue for being the ones responsible for the death of the Earth?
Well, white men of course. They’ll be told – you’re the ones who have had all the privilege throughout history. You are the ones who enslaved the world, it’s time you took one for the team.
Politics has become increasingly hostile towards white people as of late. In particular, white men; who are the founders of the oppressive patriarchy -the key holders to all the locks that imprison minorities and keep them trapped in a life of servitude.
This disdain for whites has come to the forefront of public conversation with the likes of Diane Abbot declaring everyone who voted for Brexit (the working class) a racist.
Caroline Lucas was recently outraged that Phillip Davies was elected to the Women’s and Equalities Commitee suggesting that Davies being a ‘white Anglo-Saxon male’ somehow barred him from be part of the women and equalities commission.
Personally I’ll be only too happy to go first in the human cull. In fact I already can’t wait to reach an age where I can take a massive morphine overdose without the indignity of being remembered as someone who threw in the towel early.
Besides, surely it would be better to go voluntarily and not have extinction forced upon me by ISIS or Feminazis once they have their SS units up and running.
Even if I don’t live to be victim of a cull, the future is none too pretty. It is unfortunate for me and many others to be caught being working class just as the world has turned to globalism – capitalist world domination.
Neither side of the political landscape offers a road to safety and comfort.
If the Conservatives are in power I’ll have only as much money as the corporations allow. Just enough to by food that gives me barely adequate nutrition to polish the horns on their feet.
Still, it’s better than the socialist utopia which would not see me receive even that much sustenance. I’ll be reduced to eating my pets… followed by my neighbors and their children.
There is not much future in forklift driving. My last remaining days will likely be spent living on the streets trying to summon the strength to throw stones at the drones that stole my job.
The upside of living on the streets of London by then is that the smog will be so bad it will probably be hallucinogenic. I wont have to live in reality at all. I’ll be blissfully unaware of the p*** and s*** furnishing the gutter. I’ll live in a beautiful psychedelic trip with floating orchestras, laughing landscapes and beautiful land mermaids.