Dragons’ Den – Capitalism is Awful

Cota

Dragons’ Den has been going on for 11 years. Not a lot has changed except some of the sneering Dragon faces peering upon cowering entrepreneurs. It seems we are not yet bored of watching smug rich people douse the aspirations of idiotic plebs with their half-wit schemes.

One way the format has changed is now the BBC invite the family and friends to watch their loved ones humiliation – live from the basement.

First to make a pitch on last Sunday’s episode – a bloke with a humanitarian shower attachment resembling a cow’s udder. A product the Dragons examined closely with the same contempt they might use to take a closer look at a sandwich bag full of dog poo. Far from conceding the humanitarian potential of the udder-like attachment, the Dragons suggested it might actually be more efficient at dispensing the plague rather than clean water. Needless to say, he was easily fended off from getting his grubby little hands on the Dragons precious stack of cash.

Also to grace the Den were two ladies selling highly durable, sparkling lip stick that offered the look of sequins welded directly onto their lips and then painted purple with an aerosol. The Dragons immediately stopped laughing at the product once the ladies revealed their impressive sales figures.

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A socially awkward couple received an unlikely clean sweep of offers from the Dragons after having received a detailed explanation as to why their product and business were worthless. They were so pleased to have received any offers after having their dreams given a kicking, they didn’t waste any time negotiating.

I’ve learnt a lot from watching Dragons’ Den over the years. Mainly that capitalism is awful but it does keep us stocked up with iPhones and WiFi. Also the show helps keep me occupied while politics is on holiday.

Further Reading: “An elaborate new euthanasia scheme?”

jacks

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