Current Affairs: The 5 Day Diary


To get any comprehension of current British politics you have to at least watch some news or read a paper, or acquire news from the glowing super computer we keep no more that 5 inches from our faces. I try to do all of them. But there is only so much time you can spend doing all of those before life gets in the way – as well as laziness, self loathing and internet pornography.

This is my 5 day newsdiary of what I was able to garner from my cultural seat amongst the proles, the lower classes – the great unwashed.


Monday: First thing in the morning the Prime Minister David Cameron comes out swinging for team EU, telling us proles that leaving the European Union could start World War 3.

A rather paranoid view to say the least. I can’t imagine European countries have forgotten the 2 world wars that have happened in the last century and are in any mood to see another. At any rate Europe is surely united in its hatred for religious extremists if nothing else and will band together in a poorly planned and executed resistance against it.

Brexiteers unofficially lead by Boris Johnson managed to easily slip and dodge project fears straight right hand – shrugging off Cameron’s claims as mere ‘hyperbole’ and ‘scaremongering’. On this issue they have a point but failed however to deliver any significant counter punch of their own. They may have put too much faith in the proles having the ability to detect the desperation in David Cameron.

Tuesday,  the Chilcot inquiry rears its head as a date has been announced for its publication – 6th July 2016, 7 years after the Iraq Inquiry was announced.

Not having been a long time viewer of this soap opera of current affairs I don’t know a hell of a lot of the back story, but like most people I am still prepared to have an opinion on the topic.

A niche part of society has an appetite for an Iraq report that states Tony Blair and George Bush are war criminals. But does anyone really believe that after reading the million word report we will come to the conclusion that Bush and Blair need to be put on trial?

Tony Blair already knows how this whole situation plays out. Or at the very least thinks he does. He would not have decided to take a country into war if he thought he would one day see the inside on a cell or endure a short drop and a quick stop.

Tony Blair is off acquiring more money and more power. At this moment he will be cutting deals with the Illuminati and the lizard kings over the marketing rights of human souls or some shit and not give much thought in to anyone who is the victim of a war crime. You will never again see him on the television screen unless he is legally obliged to or has something to sell. His absence will do wonders in extinguishing the public’s anger over his handling of the war. Out of site, out of mind.


During questioning in the inquiry no one is actually under oath and have no legal obligation to answer truthfully to any question they face. So if their truth could possibly place someone in the dock  – they will have lied through their teeth.


The new London Mayor Sadiq Khan was given a pass to visit America by Donald Trump should Trump win the Presidential election. That is good of him. It is scary to think that Mr Trump might actually become Mr President. It will be even more scary when unlikely suspects start endorsing him just in case he wins.


On Wednesday The Queen and Cameron were caught making candid digs at China, Nigeria and Afghanistan calling them ‘rude’ and ‘corrupt’. Does anyone believe this whole thing wasn’t manufactured?

I cannot imagine camera crews are just allowed to roam freely in the Queen’s house and broadcast what ever they film. I think its a fair assumption that whatever footage is shown on mainstream news – it has always been given prior approval.

But really, what does it say about society that David Cameron has to be ‘caught’ saying what he really thinks? Whatever the reason, Cameron is up to something and has recruited the Queen into his scheme who must be only too happy to slag off foreigners.

Gordon Brown has come out of the wood work, appearing on the news for the purpose of flogging a book. As Chael Sonnen once taught me about the world of money and politics “you don’t go on television unless you have something to sell.” When questioned on Good Morning Britain, Brown stated he believed Cameron’s comments to have been unplanned, the subtext being; please don’t drag me into this shit, I’m just out here trying to sell a book.


I believe Thursday was the day of an anti corruption summit but I couldn’t be entirely sure because I only watched Good Morning Britain and all they waffled on about was the high heel debate.

Some feminist complained when a woman was turned away from work for wearing flat shoes and not ‘2 to 4 inch heels’. Inequality? Pah! She should think herself lucky she gets to wear heels. Whenever I turn up to work in some sexy black gloss stilettos I get sent out of the warehouse.

Friday saw the return of John Major but I cannot for the life of me tell you about anything he said since he is still as dull as ever and I can’t listen to the cancerous drone that is his voice.

My avoidance of the news for fear he would be on it did however give me chance to come up with a theory about why America would want Britain to remain in the EU.

While they bomb and generally fuck some shit up in the Middle East they need places for the immigrants to flee too. With Britain gone from the EU there would be one less place for them to go and when the pressure is being felt in Europe the issue might start becoming the wars that have caused immigration. And the finger may get pointed and the questions may start, what the hell do you think you’re doing ‘merica?


News coverage included the completion of Prince Harry’s Invictus games, an Olympic style sporting event for injured armed service personnel. The games can be considered a great success – if the goal of the games was to promote Prince Harry.

Think I’m being cynical? Try to name anyone who took part in the games. Just one… Go on… I’ll wait…

…Nope. I couldn’t name a single person either. If Harry was really committed to promoting these games he would be shining a light on the talents that actually take part in them. But since we can’t name anyone who took part (and that is a promoters fault), he is either acting in self interest or is just incompetent.





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