North Korean Celebrations: EpicFail

North Korea attempted and failed to launch what experts believe was an intermediate-range ballistic missile on Friday in defiance of U.N. sanctions and in an embarrassing setback for leader Kim Jong Un, drawing criticism from major ally China.

– Reuters


In the UK we might celebrate a national holiday with some fireworks and on occasion a bonfire. In North Korea they do things differently. On Friday (15th April) rather than have some inexpensive fireworks from the local shop, Kim Jong Un wanted to celebrate his deceased Grandfather’s birthday with a missile launch.

Embarrassingly the launch failed, and there is one thing “The Great Leader” doesn’t like and that is being embarrassed. I can only imagine – as punishment the scientists behind the botch where given lines to teach them a lesson…

I will never again fail The Great Leader.

 I will never again fail The Great Leader.

I will never again fail The Great Leader.

…And just to be certain that the scientists learned their lesson, the ink will have been their wives blood, the pen nib will be fashioned from one of their own teeth and they will have to write onto the peeled skin of their children which will then be made into a cape they have to wear – to remind them of their failure.

I’m not sure how well the North Korean population is educated in economics (poorly is my guess), they may not see the connection between the people being poor and Kim setting off expensive missiles any chance he gets. Kim clearly goes to great lengths to keep things like this from his people. Or at least installs a level of fear that keeps them quiet.

If I kept an entire country hostage, kept them poor and hungry – I wouldn’t go around looking so fat! This is a country where literally NOBODY is fat and many are starving. Trying to run a starving country while unavoidably promoting how well fed both your chins are is exactly the type of behaviour that gets you sodomised to death on YouTube.

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